If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
