what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
