I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
