Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
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His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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