ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
