this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
