dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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