somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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