It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
