For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
