He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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