I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
