his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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