all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
