Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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