On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
