but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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