: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
