the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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