He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
