whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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