Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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