i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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