I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize