so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
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