In the future we'll all be gay
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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