ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize