the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Oh god it's open bar.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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