Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
