Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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