I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
