She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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