Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
