I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
