you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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