On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
