so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
