It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
