hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
