Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
