just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
