She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
