Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
