Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
