Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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