we're blogging at a bar
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
