you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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