oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize