You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
operation have a gay friend backfired
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
