just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
