your parents love me but you hate me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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