i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
