I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
