Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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