I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
