maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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