God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
