you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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