Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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