omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
